


be a man with all the strength of a raging fire

by takenbadgering



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Bad Parenting, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Child Death, Child Neglect, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Loss, Fire Nation Royal Family, Flashbacks, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Hurt/Comfort, Identity Issues, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Introspection, Loss, Mother-Son Relationship, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Pre-Canon, Sibling Hate, Toxic Masculinity, Uncle-Nephew Relationship, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, Zuko is a good nephew (Avatar), zuko isn't the "child death"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:02:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24860512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takenbadgering/pseuds/takenbadgering
Summary: Prince Zuko, firstborn son of Prince Ozai, of the Fire Nation, is different. It’s clear as day to anyone who even glances at the royal family.
Relationships: Azula & Ozai (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Iroh & Lu Ten, Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), Ozai & Zuko (Avatar), Ursa & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 483





	be a man with all the strength of a raging fire

**Author's Note:**

> title: I'll Make a Man Out of You by Donny Osmond, Disney's "Mulan" Soundtrack  
> -  
> Enjoy!

* * *

Prince Zuko, firstborn son of Prince Ozai, of the Fire Nation, is different. It’s clear as day to anyone who even glances at the royal family. 

  * Firelord Azulon has callous eyes and the willpower to have a man killed for looking at him the wrong way.
  * Crown Prince Iroh is a decorated war hero who fights on the front lines with firebending unlike anything that has been seen in centuries.
  * Prince Ozai has a cruel smile and a head full of plans on how to send the water and earth benders to their graves like the Air Nomads.
  * Prince Lu Ten, son of Iroh, is just as decorated as his father and has a brain made for strategic military plans but a heart for kindness.
  * Princess Ursa, wife of Ozai, has eyes swimming with so much sadness it puts the tides waterbenders create to shame and hands that shake with understanding of situations and problems that a princess wasn’t supposed to think of, much less understand.
  * Princess Azula, daughter of Ozai and Ursa, had her father’s cruelty in her smile and had a tongue fit for lying and manipulation. 



But Prince Zuko… 

Well, Prince Zuko, son of Ozai and Ursa, has eyes like the sun, full of life and hope, and hard to look directly into without being blinded by childish innocence and unquestioning trust. 

In the early years of his life, with Lu Ten and Iroh away in Ba Sing Se, Ursa was the only one who didn’t abuse that trust. She was honest and nurturing with her son. She protected him from what the world knew to be the worst bloodline in existence. 

But Zuko was different from the rest of them…

* * *

The last time Zuko was with his mother, they sat at the turtleduck pond while they ate lunch. It was warm out and there was no wind—

—years later, the only thing Zuko would remember about that day, was how stuffy the air was; how much, that day, he wished to have been a waterbender, if only to cool off for a moment— 

—and the young prince had lied in the grass, on his belly, swinging his feet. 

Ursa sat next to him, stroking his hair and humming lullabies softly. 

_I’m not a baby anymore, mother,_ Zuko had complained after he had realized what song she was humming, _I don’t listen to lullabies!_

Ursa had smiled wide as she spoke, _You’ll always be my baby, Zuko. I’ll take care of you forever and ever, because you’ll always be my baby._ And then she had smothered him in kisses and hugs. Zuko has shrilly laughed and squirmed in his mother’s arms. 

* * *

It had taken Zuko no less than five days to realize that Ursa wasn’t coming home. 

His father was now firelord and said that Ursa was gone forever. But his father always said dramatic stuff like that; for instance, once, Zuko heard him tell Grandfather Azulon, _I will never, ever speak to the Rice Yield Minister again!_ But the next week, the Rice Yield Minister and his father were in a meeting again. 

But after three days, it finally sunk in that he wouldn’t be seeing his mother again. 

Being a logical child, Zuko decided this must mean that he is a man now. If his mother, who promised to protect him because he is _her baby_ , is gone, then that must mean he isn’t a baby anymore. Therefore, he must be a man. 

And men in the fire nation are brave. 

So Zuko holds his head high as he goes about his business. He doesn’t need anyone to hold his hand as he walks down the hall. He doesn’t need anyone to cut up his food for him. He doesn’t need anyone to order servants around for him. 

He’s a man. Men can do all of that and more. Men are brave and lay their lives for their country and never cry. 

Zuko is a man now, so he doesn’t cry himself to sleep every night, missing his mother, for months afterwards.

* * *

Uncle Iroh comes home 3 months after Zuko becomes a man. 

A lot has changed in that time. 

Since then, he has told his father he’s a man now, to which his father laughed and told him he was a man only when he could beat Azula in a fight.  
Zuko didn’t think that was very fair, because Azula is really good. Besides, men aren’t measured by their ability to beat their sisters in combat. 

But the Firelord’s word is law, so he duels his sister. Both his father and Azula seem to find it funny when she keeps burning him.   
He isn’t sure why they’re laughing so he laughs with them, even though he can feel his skin boil as Azula holds his thin upper arm firmly. He laughs along because he doesn’t get it, but he desperately wants to. 

Now, he fights Azula every other week.  
Now, she gives Zuko a new injury every other week. 

The week that Uncle Iroh comes home without his son, Azula has bruised his neck, where she tried to strangle him with his own sash. She had made a point that week to defeat him without using even a little bit of fire. 

In his heart though, no matter what his father says, Zuko still believes he’s a man. Because that’s what his mother told him, so he’ll believe it to his dying breath. 

So Zuko is a man, Uncle Iroh is home, Lu Ten is dead, Azulon is dead, Ozai is Firelord, Azula is the favorite child, and Ursa is gone. 

* * *

After 2 weeks of not leaving his room, Zuko goes to see his uncle, even though his father has forbidden it.  
He brings a tray of fruit, tea, bread, and a small cup of stew. 

He had picked the fruit himself—

—after his coronation, Zuko had strolled the gardens and remembered that day and how he meticulously looked for the least misshapen and best smelling fruit—

—but the rest had come from the kitchens. 

In a moment of childishness, he had barged into the room uncle slept in without knocking. Immediately, he apologized and flushed bright pink in shame. 

Clearly, Uncle was surprised to see him. But despite making that small mistake, Zuko was determined to be with his uncle, man and man. So he strode in and sat the tray down, before climbing onto the plush bed with him. 

_I missed you, Uncle,_ he had confessed, _you’ve been home for weeks and I’ve only seen you once._

Uncle looked at him with such deep sadness, unlike anything Zuko had seen before at that point. A quick look around revealed that uncle's sadness had spread to the furniture.

In the corner, old water cups were stacked high.   
Across the room, the curtains were pulled tightly shut, despite it being a nice day out.   
Upon the plush couch, cleaned clothing was folded and piled so high you couldn’t sit there.   
On the floor, there were crumpled up papers everywhere.   
Under him, the beds sheets were rumpled like Uncle hadn’t left them in days.   
Behind him, there were tear stains on the pillows.

Zuko frowned deeply and grabbed his uncle’s hand. _What’s wrong?,_ he asked quietly, desperate to know what made his uncle depressed and dejected. 

Uncle smiled with such sadness when he finally spoke, _I have lost Lu Ten. My perfect son has been taken from me too soon. I am alone in the world now, nephew._

Zuko considered this before he spoke again. _But Uncle, I am here, aren’t I?_ He had given a tentative smile. _Lu Ten may be gone, but you aren’t alone. I will keep you company._

This makes Uncle’s eyes water and a flash of panic seizes his body. But Uncle pulls him close and hugs him. Zuko hugs back. 

When Uncle cries, Zuko amends his original ideas about being a man. The bravest men _do_ cry. 

But later that night, in his own bed, numb to the world now, Zuko can’t bring himself to cry for his mother. His eyes are dry, no matter how distressed he feels. He supposes that means he’s not very brave. 

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> i might continue this, but for now, it stands alone


End file.
